Build Bridges, Not Walls

There are a few truths I’m reminding myself of—truths that grow louder the more life teaches me:

1. Don’t build walls.
2. Build bridges.
3. When someone’s actions tempt you to burn down the bridge, pause. Remember: everyone fails, everyone missteps, and everyone has moments they wish they could take back. Build the bridge anyway.
4. And never burn a bridge—because God has a way of leading us down old paths at unexpected times.

Someone recently said to me, “You do not want to burn that bridge.”
It was simple, gentle, and exactly what I needed to hear. It reminded me that while I cannot control what others do, I am fully responsible for how I respond, how I love, and how I choose to show up in difficult moments.

Because life will test you.
Not once. Not occasionally.
Repeatedly. Intensely. Unexpectedly.

And contrary to what social media teaches, real life is not curated, filtered, or perfectly sequenced. Behind every smiling photo is a story. Behind every success is a sacrifice. Behind every “we made it” moment is a chapter few people ever get to see.

The Journey Behind Every Harvest

Ask a couple who has been married for a lifetime—they’ll tell you that longevity is built on forgiveness, humility, and grit.
Ask someone thriving in their career—they’ll tell you about the quiet nights, the tears, the late study sessions, and the moments they questioned everything.
Ask a person with deep, decades-long friendships—they’ll tell you about the misunderstandings, the growing pains, the hard conversations, and the decision to stay committed.

I know this is true for me.
Today, I’m thriving professionally, but it came through work—real work. Sacrifice. Reinvention. Prayer. Resilience.
Some of my best friendships have only become stronger because we overcame difficult seasons together.

My best friend since my teenage years and I once hit a season where I wasn’t sure we’d make it. We had grown differently. Thought differently. Viewed the world differently—politics… church culture… the pandemic. We needed space, but the bridge didn’t collapse. We both came back with understanding, maturity, and deeper appreciation.
Today, that friendship is unshakeable because it survived the fire.

A preacher once said:
“Don’t judge my harvest when you don’t know my sacrifice.”

And I’ve learned—
you never know what a person is walking through behind the scenes.
You don’t know the internal battles.
You don’t know the disappointments they carry silently.
You don’t know the weight they’re lifting privately.

So how can we judge someone’s reaction when we don’t know their reality?

The Call to Grace

This blog serves as a reminder:
Always choose grace.
Always choose kindness.
Always choose forgiveness.

It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.
It’s not avoidance—it’s maturity.
And it’s not passive—it’s power under control.

Because how you respond determines the outcome.
How you speak, how you love, how you handle offense—
These are the true markers of spiritual growth.

Growth doesn’t happen in calm waters.
Growth happens in friction, discomfort, misunderstanding, and stretching.
Growth happens when God uses hard moments to reveal what’s inside us—and refine us.

Learning to love like Jesus?
That takes work.
Learning to forgive without conditions?
That takes surrender.
Learning to overcome offense?
That takes the Holy Spirit.

But this is the journey.

Rebuilding the Bridge

And when people try to rebuild what was broken, when they reach back across the gap—
meet them with love.
Meet them with openness.
Meet them with the heart of Jesus.

Forgiveness does not always erase history, but it can redeem the future.

Scripture Reflection

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’
Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” — Matthew 18:21–22

Jesus wasn’t giving us a number.
He was giving us a posture.
A mindset.
A way of life.

Forgive continually.
Forgive completely.
Forgive unconditionally.

Because that is what Christ does for us—every single day.

Closing Prayer

Father,
Thank You for loving us with a love that never gives up, never runs out, and never keeps score.
Teach us to build bridges where our flesh wants to build walls. Teach us to respond with grace when frustration rises, and to forgive even when it feels unfair or difficult.

Give us the maturity to pause before reacting, the humility to admit when we’re wrong, and the courage to repair what’s been broken.
Heal the places in our hearts that make forgiveness hard. Soften the areas that have become guarded or defensive. Strengthen the bridges in our lives that are worth preserving.
And when someone extends their hand to rebuild a connection, help us mirror the love, mercy, and compassion of Jesus.

Make us carriers of peace.
Make us restorers of relationships.
Make us reflections of Your unconditional love.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.